Wednesday, 30 November 2005

• Currently Reading Of Human Bondage (Bantam Classic) By W. Somerset Maugham see related

  

  Tonight was a miserable night, all stemming from Jujitsu class.  This is quite a long post (3 pages in Microsoft Word) so I forgive those who do not wish to read it.

   

  During class the Sensei (instructor) asked if anyone had any injuries he should be aware of.  I raised my hand and said my thumb. (It has been hurting for over a week now; refer to my previous post)  He dismissed it.  I found this to be rude and not the wisest response considering that any injury could be a serious one, even if it is a finger, toe, or minor body part.  He instead wanted to know if there were any “real” injuries that anyone wished to inform him of. 

   

  Then during class we were instructed to line up for roll outs two at a time.  Roll outs are just that, we practice rolls and falls to prepare us to be thrown by our partners in class.  So it looked as follows:

                      ^                  ^

  (A)(B)          |                    |

  (A)(B) (student 1)    (student 2)

  (A)(B)

   

  The A’s and B’s represent those who will be going out two at a time that are waiting on line.  The arrow point up is the direction in which the rolls and falls will take place.

   

  So the other student that was in front of me (B) kept going behind student 1 instead of stepping forward behind student 2. 

   

  (student 1)   (student 2)

       (B)

   

  Now while not a big deal, it kept screwing me up because the Sensei expected me to be behind student 2 to roll out, but mentally I wasn’t being cued to go behind student 2 since I was waiting for the student ahead of me to move behind student 2, which he never did since he just shifted position to be behind student 1 where I should have ended up.  So that became irritating.

   

  Another segment of the class consisted of this same student attempting to keep me in a specific type of grappling hold on the mat and I was supposed to attempt escape in a certain amount of time.  And then we reverse positions.

   

  The first position I was to hold him in he attempted to escape by no less bending back my injured thumb.  So that was a wonderfully painful feeling.

   

  Then during the second position, while escaping I put my leg between him and myself and pushed.  The sensei told me that there were no striking techniques allowed in this practice and I was to do 50 pushups.  And this is where everything started to go downhill fast. 

   

  1) I was very frustrated since I did not believe I kicked him.  It would be the equivalent of saying that an open palm strike or a punch was the same as a push.  It is absolutely not.  So I felt unjustly punished.

   

  2) 50 pushups?  Was he insane?  Unlike the other students in the class I do correct pushups with strict proper form.  I was dying way before 20, and just if you are wondering…we had been doing pushups, punches, and other strikes throughout the class so I was already pretty exhausted.  Anyhow, psychologically I felt very frustrated and the prospect of trying to do 50 pushups for the rest of class was upsetting to say the least.  The 20 were no picnic (which, were done on my knuckles with one leg touching the floor for added fun) and with each passing one the time I estimated for me to complete it grew further and further away.

   

  3) And thirdly, my thumb was hurting quite a bit at this point.

   

  So after twenty or so pushups the sensei allowed me to get back up, but then to immediately partner up again with the same student as before for another mat hold in which we both needed to take turns preventing the other from escaping and then trying to escape ourselves from the same hold.  So I was pretty confused since I had no idea what hold we were doing (I was doing pushups remember?), and then of course I was plain exhausted from the pushups, so I had no strength to hold him. 

   

  Following the mat holding portion of class, we were instructed to run laps around the dojo and it was at this point that I started hyperventilating. 

   

  For those unfamiliar with hyperventilation, it is when there is “an abnormal increase in the volume of air breathed in and out of the lungs, the result is a significant decrease in carbon dioxide content of the blood.  Carbon dioxide is needed to automatically regulate the breathing process).”

   

  As far as I am aware, I have never hyperventilated before.  I know how to properly breathe from voice lessons, yoga, flight and scuba diving training, and how to handle breathing emergencies from those same classes and also from taking CPR and first aid training.  But still, it was very scary, and it is easier said than done to try to regulate your own breathing without a paper bag.

   

  My eyes started to tear; between the stress of having to deal with hyperventilating, and now the tears rolling down my face I decided to get out of the dojo as quickly as possible with of course bowing before leaving the mat, and then grabbing my shoes (though not putting them on) and running barefoot onto the wet sidewalk outside (it had been raining this week).

   

  At this point another sensei came outside and was very kind to me attempting to give me advice on how to breathe.  Of course while I already knew everything he had to say, plus probably much more, it was still kind of him nonetheless. 

   

  I was very upset at this point. 

   

  1) I was shocked I hyperventilated.

   

  2) I felt extremely vulnerable since this had never happened to me before.

   

  3) And now I had to go back in there when all I really would have preferred to do was go home.

   

  I rejoin class, notice I stubbed my toe and it has a small blood clot in the tip (though I couldn’t recall actually stubbing it, though it was bothering me), and then we had to practice different techniques. 

   

  My partner was a recent addition to class since I suppose taking a break from Jujitsu for at least a month since I haven’t seen him before last class.  At this point I was so out of it from everything that happened before that I was having a very hard time focusing on much of anything.  Not out of lack of trying, but for the life of me I just couldn’t get centered.  So I had to work with this guy who I must say goes a little overboard with carrying out the techniques, which leads to some pain, bruises, and was just overall uncomfortable.  Now, this isn’t horrible in itself, but from all that I went through prior to this point, it was just another hassle.

   

  The next part of class consisted of attempting to throw your opponent to the ground while they attempt to do the same to you.  This ended with an advanced student throwing me down and…well, I haven’t a clue what happened, but I couldn’t walk right after.  My shin was killing me.  I needed to immediately put an ice pack on it and sit down. 

   

  Then I felt the hyperventilating coming on, but I was able to handle it this time though I was quite concerned that I would have to go through it all again.

   

  I rejoined class to bow out, and then the sensei asks me if I was alright, and that he couldn’t help if I didn’t tell him if something was hurting.  How can I ask him to help me if he discounted my thumb hurting me so easily and then punishing me for something ridiculous?  I just felt very…well I’m not quite sure, but I just couldn’t wait to get out of there and go home.  It was just a horrible experience.

   

  So the night ended with my thumb hurting more than before, my toe hurting, my shin hurting, as well as my thigh (though I am unsure when that occurred, but I cannot lift my leg very well at the moment), and just being very frustrated at the experience, especially from the hyperventilating. 

   

  If anyone has actually read this far into this post, thank you for caring enough to read it.  I just wanted to vent, that is what a journal is for.

   

  • 11:31 PM
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